he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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