We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
