Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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