Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he was CRYING into my vagina
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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