my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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