Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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