my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
