I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
