GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
