I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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