I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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