at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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