She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
