I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
how does that bad decision feel?
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