people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
