In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
