I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
