I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
