It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
