please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
