these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
