$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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