sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
how does that bad decision feel?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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