I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
