I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
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I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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