I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
