you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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