two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
True strength comes from lack of pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
