Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
