If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
