I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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