Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
