she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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