It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
