the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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