there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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