Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
