During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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