anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
