You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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