Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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