Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
