Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
