So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
