So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
