so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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