my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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