yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
