a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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