The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
