you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
