I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
