I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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