Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
