dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
