I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
