He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
