operation harelip BJ is a go
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
