Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
